it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
