I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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