Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
