I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
