Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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