Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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