i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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