After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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