we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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