the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize