this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
ttyl tear gas
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
