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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  only in oregon

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• (559): View more from California

  With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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• (916): View more from California

  Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  That's me emphasizing the ridiculous

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• (909): View more from California

  i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way

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• (315): View more from New York

  I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!

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• (850): View more from Florida

  He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.

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