I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
