So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
