I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am naked and annoyed.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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