so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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