Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
two words...techno handjob
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
