This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
