If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
