...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
