What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
