You're completely useless in the revolution.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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