I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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