Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
