I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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