I need help removing her.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
