I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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