I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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