I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
