I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
