you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
