My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
