I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
