wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
