Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
