I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry about my life...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
