You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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