Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
