I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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