I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
