Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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