It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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