so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
