I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
