She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
