Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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