Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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