I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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