if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
