it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
