D3 body, D1 cock
the condom got lost in my hair
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
