remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
