either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
