i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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